Might this be my last chance

Starting over is not always easy when you have been in hell and trying to return to planet earth.
Even if I do find myself sad, lonely and depressed I somehow always find my way around trying new things to get back on track. So this time I´m going to start with myself, what will make me feel good about myself, trying to find that self confidence that I have never really had.
Basically what I’m going to do is use my design competence to design a new me, trying to leave out what everyone else thinks this is all about me. Feeling comfortable with who I am.
So starting out I have been using the things I got at home and making a list about things I like to change.
Growing up I have always been a tomboy but now I feel that I want to grow in to a women on the outside but to keep the best parts of being a tomboy.
I like to change the way I think about stuff so that I can simplify my own life and start growing in new directions instead of always being so hooked up on small things.
I need to start to think like a business women when it comes to running my company I believe I have the skills to do it but I really need to work on my will to wake up in the morning to do so.
Finding the things I love and surround me of those, together with changes in my thinking and appearance, and medicine, doctors and other organizations I do have a chance to get some satisfaction in this life and if I can´t do it now then I will probably never be able to do it since I have never had so many things surrounding me that can help like now.
Might this be my last chance, and I will fight like it is.