Episode 2

A New start
SO here I am again sitting on my ass doing nothing again , so how do I go from doing nothing to doing at least something.
I guess the straight in my body has left me and I have no choice then to use medicine to help me stay on the ground here.
So this is what you need to know, a few moths a go a investigation started on my so called “sickness” they have rolled out rheumatism and now they are looking for something like fibromyalgia.
I find myself so tired of life and the pain that always surrounds me and keeping the smile on my face is not easy.
I´m trying to get a new start. little by little, changing the things in my life to get to where I want to be. It´s really important that I can get to my high goals to feel the satisfaction of life again.
Trying to catch the day and the last moths of light before summer is totally gone and the world goes back to its creepy dark cold silence.
I started my own company, since I can´t have a normal job anymore it feels lonely to work alone all days but at the same time it makes me the master of my own time and if I have pain I can just stay in bed if I wish to.
I also moved to a house on the country side its less stress here and I actually feel more free from the obligation to be just like everyone else. I hate that people compare people I believe that we all do that even if we can´t see it. I just what to be my own person.
I struggle to keep up with my active life style, I love to work on the house always making things better but I have to say that is really heavy on my body and I can´t catch a breath sometimes but I keep trying. After all I have to keep making life interesting.
I long to go on a bike ride before summer ends but it frightens me to. The pain and depression makes me so blind from the beauty that one can find just outside the door.
Today I will try to finish something in the house and sell some more stuff, money is really running out and I´m scared that I have to move again that would be the 4th time this year but when winter comes I have to have money to pay the bills. It is also expensive to go to the doctor all the time and trying all this medicines.
I ask you all to stay with me on this blog, maybe it’s your first time to read this but to write is also a medicine. I hope that whoever you are and what ever life your live, you don’t forget how important you are, even if you don´t know it yet.
Xoxo
Mia